The police deemed that my mother should not live alone anymore and brought her to the hospital to get checked out. They say she clearly has dementia but they cannot keep her at the hospital and that a friend or family needs to get her. I live far away and her condo is basically unlivable per the police so trying to set up home care isn’t a real option. She absolutely refuses to go to a home so I feel if I go to the hospital, she will be angry and tell me to go home and leave her at home. I thought if she had no one to help, the hospital would be forced to place her somewhere (or work with me to do that) but they say they don’t do that. I have no POA so not sure what I can do if she refuses help? I just don’t want to get her and she tells me to leave her alone, which I know she will. She will refuse in-home care too as she thinks she is fine. We have talked through this many times and she refuses help each time. What are my options?
If her vital signs are good, meaning she's not on death door, they will release her.
A cop told me and my cousin that aunt should not be living alone.
Cousin took my aunt to the hospital to be looked at. I just knew we were on the right track to get her where she needed to be.
My aunt's neighbor called me and told me they looked at her and sent her on home. I was not there, as I live out of state.
So, that's where the "fun" began. Aunt refused to go to a nursing home. Family close by didn't think she should if she didn't want to. Aunt refused in home care, as it was coming deeply out of her pocket. So, the solution was a family member stay with her. Nominate me. NOPE!
Honestly, there isn't much you can do if your mother refuses help. I know many will say call APS, get a social worker, follow up. There's really nothing you can do here.
If she's stubborn, there isn't anything you can do. My aunt, as I know is still home in her mess. I got a caregiver there. She got rid of her. She expected I would be there or her neighbor. That didn't happen. As far as I know, she now has a caregiver, but I suspect she probably has since gotten rid of her, too, and she's now waddling in her own mess at home.
Very sorry you're in this situation, too.
Stop answering calls from the hospital. Contact social services for her county and ask for guidance. She needs a court assigned guardian.
Definitely do NOT go get her. Just keep saying she is an unsafe discharge. She has no one to help her at all, and you don't have guardianship. If they say well, that's too bad, then you will have to make the next call to APS. Report her. Say the cops said she can't live alone, she has dementia and the condo isn't safe. You are far away and can't help her at all. She has no family or friends to pick her up.
Was she admitted to the hospital? Usually everyone here will tell you to say unsafe discharge but maybe the reason they aren't is she wasn't admitted. I don't know if that is the difference here or not. If that is the case then all you can do is call APS, say she is alone, has dementia and can't take care of herself at all. You may need to call more than once. You may also need to wait until the next time she has a health crisis that sends her to the hospital. At that time, that's when you will repeat unsafe discharge.
Why were the police called in the first place? Who called them?