So my mom was placed into memory care by a niece who ended up getting POA. Her brother was opposed to it because he didn't think she was ready because she was living in assisted living and doing fine until they decided to medicate her for sundowners. She was able to feed, bathe, and dress herself and was not incontinent. They didn't tell her they were putting her into memory care ahead of time. the day of the move, they just moved her and she cried. We were told to stay away for a week for her to adjust. Her landline phone was not hooked up for 2 weeks. She has been there since July, and has NOT adjusted. The medicine she is on is making her crazy and the niece doesn't care, She won't share any information with her brother and she keeps changing the goal posts. She doesn't want her to ever leave the building. Her brother took her to church one week because the niece said after one week she could go to church, but they didn't let her. After about 2 months of asking every day, the brother finally took her to church. The niece said in October she could go to church and then changed again to saying only family could take her to church after a couple of women from the church said they would take her. So now she will not be able to go to church unless the niece takes her because the brother lives a couple of hours away and can only visit a few times and not every Sunday. The niece also took it upon herself to not allow the brother visits unless he tells her ahead of time and not on holidays and not overnight. Does this sound a little odd? She has always been very close to her brother more than any other relative, The only reason the niece is POA is because she was younger and the family thought this would be better to have someone a little younger as POA. As it turns out, probably not a good idea to make her the POA because now it might be because she is suspected of doing something suspicious with her aunts money,
Whereas here, the person you’re concerned about went from your sister in law, to your sister, to your mother. No one makes those kinds of linguistic mistakes. Only trolls do, which is against the rules.
Reported to admin.
Your posts and comments cannot and will not be taken seriously anymore. You know nothing about dementia, what's best for a dementia patient, the purpose of POA and on and on.
Why are you posting here and wasting everyone's time, exactly????
Going to memory care is not anyone’s first choice. Her having sundowners that couldn’t be resolved in assisted living is a typical reason why people are transferred. Whatever you think of niece, be assured she’s not thrilled with having to shell out 8500/mo of moms money for a smaller dingier room in a locked unit because it was no longer an option to keep her in her bright 4500/mo one.
People with dementia do not usually do well at church, either. Thats why she’s not allowed to go. You’re acting like she’s an unimpaired 30 yo. She clearly isn’t.
Niece is the closest relative, not you, sil. Assuming she’s cognizant of your guardianship dreams plus insistence on public gatherings like church, she’s probably right there on asking the unit to ban you, specifically, as well as restrict the brotner to at best occasional face to face contact. I would.
Before it was your sister, then your SIL and now it is your mother. Why?
The more posts you write the more I feel the neice is justified in her actions. You have been given sound advice and yet you dig in your heels and can't see any other view but your own.
And enough of the talk your neice is only for the money. I can attest Memory care, assited living or a nursing home costs $$$ and she wouldn'tbe there if money or an inheritance was trying to be preserved.
BTW, adjusting may never happen and there will always be levels of anxiety because her brain is broken. Leaving and coming back is very anxiety inducing for many dementia patients.
"The only reason the niece is POA is because she was younger and the family thought this would be better to have someone a little younger as POA." Ummm, if she is your mother, wouldn't YOU be the younger person who she would have given her POA, rather than your "cousin"?
Did your "mother" not give POA to you, her "daughter," because she doesn't trust you? Or do you have dementia yourself, because you can't remember who all these people in your family are? Or are you just lying because you didn't like the answers you got in your other several posts?
And what difference does it make? We are just strangers on the internet, not the judge who will be deciding your guardianship case. How is that going?
Your family member(whoever she is to you)has a broken brain and will never get better, only worse, and is now in a place where she's kept safe and is receiving 24/7 care.
Why can't you just be happy that your sister, sister-in-law, mom or whoever this person is, is being looked after and being taken care of?
And if you have absolute proof that her POA(your niece)is misusing her moms money take your proof to your local police department and let them handle things.
Otherwise give it a break and be grateful your family member is being kept safe.
I'm wondering whether you're hoping to get different answers if you change some of the information in the scenario.