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I switched my mom to a pallative care model. Intellectually I know its the right thing to do at her advanced stage and stopping Mementine is common. She was like a car with an 8 cylinder engine with only one cyclinder working. We took her off the drug and now 3 weeks later her memory is a little worse. It could very likely be the Mementine. Naturally I'm second guessing this a little, to continue the car analogy do you continue to do tune ups on a car with only one cylinder out of eight firing?
The drug wasn't curing her and she was getting worse regardless, but the other day she stopped recognizing my brother as her son but as her friend. That said, even with the drug she was having that same issue with me.
For those that got to this stage, did you stop the drug or continue? I'm also of the opinion that she's suffering from the disease and her wishes were not to prolong it.

Right now my mom is in stage 7. When she started Hospice they wanted to take her off the Memetine . I thought hard on it and said yes. In the beginning u could tell the difference. Her memory was about the same but sleeping was different and a little more agitated. They gave her something else for that. At this stage the medicine isn’t really going to help. My mom remembers the people that r around her more than others. Sometimes not at that moment but later she will say their name. The thing is try to make them as comfortable as possible. It’s a very hard journey to go through. Sometimes I can see the old her . As times goes on Hospice has changed some of her medications to lower milligrams. Just part of the process. I’m truly grateful for every day with her. I’m learning that at times it’s very hard but God will see us through this. Everyone journey is f different. Sending love and prayers
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Reply to Kimmiemoon66
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My husband was placed had been prescribed medicine at diagnosis, dose kowered, then dufferent medicune, then lower dose. With each, all he did was sleep. Could not stay awake, concentrate. But in morning before meducine dose was very alert and responsive. He was able to speak with his doctor, understand issue as he was in mild stage. I questioned the ourpose if a medicine that turned him into a drugged stage when he could still be fully enjoying life. Ended up with medicine with lowest dose for a short while, then none. Because my husband's mind had not gone to stage of not understanding, he chise to go off medicine, enjoy remaining good days since it was not a given, only that it might slow down the alzheimers. He did well for 7yrs.
He had good health otherwise.
No doubt a personal decision with dr advising. But for us, we had 7 yrs he enjoyed and understood and could respond to.
Am sure this is an induvidual decision, no do-overs. Only know my husband said it was so good not having that mental fog and sleepiness.
It is a strange illness. So much unknown, and little positives of a medicine that will do this or that. Side effects known but only it "may" help.
Live it each enjoying the time spent for loved ine and find a good doctor to advise. For sime, maybe the medicine may not nave so many sude effects.
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Reply to Memories42
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Dif med but want to share concerning Premarin/ HRT. Her dr ended this rx in her late 70s causing a big decline in her mind that took ~ 9 months to level out. Hoping she will level out quickly fr dropping memetadine. Take care of YOU, too.
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Reply to Bellerose63
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Thank you for this - Mom has lost mobility double incontinent , she still knows me , is bed bound now, we feed her coax her to drink , I wondered if Memantine was still a good thing for mom still shes 80 next February , shes on 30mg citalopram and like your mom,because we lost dad to glioblastoma terminal brain tumour in the pandemic she said , while sound of mind No CPR no prolonging her life , if ended up like dad, it was dementia that has taken her brain and not rain tumour but to lose both parents to their brains devasting - both no underlying health both ate real food no fast food both never smoked were tea total , both were fit walkers gardeners so after reading your post and the kind reply I think its time I pluck up courage to ask her doctor if I should trial her off the Memantine a d then lower the dose slowly from 30 mg to 10mg of citalopram but not all at once Im with her 7 days a week 365 so will notice any real change - take care good luck sending hugs to you and your mom, its such a sad way for them to end their lives & the added worry one day it could be us as moms mom my nan passed from it in 1996.
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Reply to Lulu54
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Let it go. The drug wasn't helping much anyway. I think these drugs are largely worthless in the late stages and that doctors prescribe them so that the family can feel that they are actually doing something to help.

I think palliative care at this point is the right thing to do. It is time to help her by not prolonging her misery.
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Reply to Hothouseflower
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Lulu54 2 hours ago
This answer has helped me care giver daughter to mom with Mixed Al, and Vascular dementia I wondered if its time to stop medication as her quality of life is poor , in bed no mobility not walked since Oct 2024 double incontinent 80 next year .
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The kicker is ... you do not know if the decline was due to taking her off the drug OR if she would have declined the same while on the drug.
I think at the later stages the drugs do little but there are some that there is a noticeable decline, or a change in personality. I think if the change is adversely effecting anyone then going back on the drug is a valid option.
She will decline with or without the medication. How fast the decline would be you will neve know.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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Lulu54 2 hours ago
This has helped me reading thank you for the advice
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Let it go . You said she was getting worse regardless . It’s a coincidence that she stopped recognizing your brother after stopping the med . She had already been having the same problem with you while on the med, the med is no longer working.
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Reply to waytomisery
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Lulu54 2 hours ago
Thus has helped me , just got to pluck courage up and decide to contact her doctor
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