Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
She knows I have autism and ADHD and difficulties with them. But even thought I told her over and over she still does it. It burns me out trying to mask my anger from her just ignore my needs to work properly. I just need help.
- she's 68 and lives in her own studio apartment - you're 21 and you're her caregiver and are getting paid by an agency - she's a hoarder, has mental health issues, is obese, and is on oxygen for "breathing problems", arthritis in both knees, deteriorating spine - she has memory and judgment impairment (diagnosed? unsure) - She has 2 daughters: one is disabled and one has mental health issues - Her sister may be her PoA (unsure), her spouse also helps; no other helpers available
I would start by confirming whether your Aunt (or anyone) is actually her PoA. If your Grandma doesn't have a PoA, this needs to happen asap if she still has the capacity to legally do so. If not then you will need to step completely away and call APS and allow them to provide the sustainable solution. If you and your Aunt and Uncle stay in the mix, APS will think she's got caregivers and won't intervene. It may take them some time to step in but they will. She will be get a court-assigned 3rd party legal guardian who will then be legally and financially responsible for her.
If your Aunt is her PoA and your Grandma has enough financial resources then your Aunt needs to read the document to see what triggers the authority. Then she will need to do what it takes to either hire in-home aids or transition her into a facility. And you go back to having a life and a future.
It's obviously not working out for you to be your grandmother's caregiver. If no one else in the family wants to take responsibility, she can go to assisted living or memory care or a long-term care home. Do you live with her in her house, or does she live with you in yours?
Do you have a separate full-time job? How old are you? You need to be building your career, saving and investing for your own future, enjoying a social life, and dating (if marriage and possibly children are what you want). You won't get these years back.
Thankfully she lives in a her own studio apartment so I have space outside. My own apartment with my fiance. The only people who would want to take care of her are not able to fully take care of her. I do not have a separate job this is my full-time job. I am 21 . Building a career my aunt told me that this could be a way to build my career I just guess I pick the hardest version for myself because I feel like it might have been easier if it was a random person. Especially because of the small space the only true door inside the apartment is the bathroom. And of course there's not that much space because she's a hoarder so she has things stacked backed up to the wall. It's quite over stimulating all the things that are in there to be honest. I don't want children I'm good on that. I never really fit into a social life.
Well if she's elderly and having memory problems (because her brain is changing due to old age) then she physically can't recall what you've told her. She's not able to do that any more. So it's not really targeting you, or a deliberate thing. You do need help. Who is responsible for your grandma legally? What is their plan for her care?
My grandma is still I think legally responsible for herself ,but I think my aunt is like the secondary like if she starts to go a wire even though I think she might already be kind of going downhill when it comes to making good decisions. Though I could be wrong. And that makes a lot sense that's a good way to look at it. Shes 68.
You say below that you're your grandma's caregiver yet you don't tell us why she needs your care or how old she is. That might help us better answer your concern. But without knowing any of the details I will say can you not do your tasks while she's napping or sleeping if she bothers you so when she's awake? And why are you grandma's caregiver and not one of her children? Shame on her own children for not stepping up and helping, and putting her care on you when you struggle with autism. Perhaps it's time to look into moving out and getting on with living and enjoying your life as you see fit. Just a thought.
She struggles to walk and is on the the heavier side increasing the pain in her knees cuz she basically has bone on bone which is very painful and she has a back that was broken and plastered back together and now it is disintegrating again Her other daughter is also disabled with many varying factors so she wouldn't be able to do the job The other twin daughter my mom is often deluland being unmedicated and heavily bipolar so she's not in the picture also she thinks that my grandma hates her so she has like false memories in her brain that aren't going to go away with someone talking to her about it. And the other ones are far away. So just my uncle my aunt and me but I'm the one who's at her house everyday I live separately thank God.
She doesn't go to the doctor very often due to breathing problems requiring oxygen and she also struggles with mental health I became her caregiver because I couldn't take working at Walmart anymore since they thought I was a liability.
And the biggest opportunity I didn't want to miss here is that I get guaranteed hours and with a worrying mind that is very reassuring I do get paid not buy her but by an agency that I work through. Because of her physical condition and all ,she's basically disabled she can only walk to the door and to the bathroom and then she lays down for like another 30 minutes. she lives in a studio apartment those aren't very big the only closed door is the bathroom in the front door. So I have to assist with various tasks whether the normal ones when I get there dishes cooking her food you know a lot of things that is difficult when you're older she's 68. I work 6 days a week ranging from 8 hours to five and a half hours. But she's my only client. I love doing this for her and I want to make it work. I just don't know what to do.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
- she's 68 and lives in her own studio apartment
- you're 21 and you're her caregiver and are getting paid by an agency
- she's a hoarder, has mental health issues, is obese, and is on oxygen for "breathing problems", arthritis in both knees, deteriorating spine
- she has memory and judgment impairment (diagnosed? unsure)
- She has 2 daughters: one is disabled and one has mental health issues
- Her sister may be her PoA (unsure), her spouse also helps; no other helpers available
I would start by confirming whether your Aunt (or anyone) is actually her PoA. If your Grandma doesn't have a PoA, this needs to happen asap if she still has the capacity to legally do so. If not then you will need to step completely away and call APS and allow them to provide the sustainable solution. If you and your Aunt and Uncle stay in the mix, APS will think she's got caregivers and won't intervene. It may take them some time to step in but they will. She will be get a court-assigned 3rd party legal guardian who will then be legally and financially responsible for her.
If your Aunt is her PoA and your Grandma has enough financial resources then your Aunt needs to read the document to see what triggers the authority. Then she will need to do what it takes to either hire in-home aids or transition her into a facility. And you go back to having a life and a future.
Do you have a separate full-time job? How old are you? You need to be building your career, saving and investing for your own future, enjoying a social life, and dating (if marriage and possibly children are what you want). You won't get these years back.
The only people who would want to take care of her are not able to fully take care of her. I do not have a separate job this is my full-time job. I am 21 . Building a career my aunt told me that this could be a way to build my career I just guess I pick the hardest version for myself because I feel like it might have been easier if it was a random person. Especially because of the small space the only true door inside the apartment is the bathroom. And of course there's not that much space because she's a hoarder so she has things stacked backed up to the wall. It's quite over stimulating all the things that are in there to be honest. I don't want children I'm good on that.
I never really fit into a social life.
You do need help. Who is responsible for your grandma legally? What is their plan for her care?
Though I could be wrong. And that makes a lot sense that's a good way to look at it. Shes 68.
But without knowing any of the details I will say can you not do your tasks while she's napping or sleeping if she bothers you so when she's awake?
And why are you grandma's caregiver and not one of her children?
Shame on her own children for not stepping up and helping, and putting her care on you when you struggle with autism. Perhaps it's time to look into moving out and getting on with living and enjoying your life as you see fit. Just a thought.
Her other daughter is also disabled with many varying factors so she wouldn't be able to do the job
The other twin daughter my mom is often deluland being unmedicated and heavily bipolar so she's not in the picture also she thinks that my grandma hates her so she has like false memories in her brain that aren't going to go away with someone talking to her about it.
And the other ones are far away.
So just my uncle my aunt and me but I'm the one who's at her house everyday I live separately thank God.
Or calmly tell her, "If you can't stop interrupting me all day, you will have to get another Caregiver."
Please tell me you are being PAID by Grandma. You need to get Social Security credits for your own future. Why did YOU end up being her Caregiver?
And the biggest opportunity I didn't want to miss here is that I get guaranteed hours and with a worrying mind that is very reassuring
I do get paid not buy her but by an agency that I work through. Because of her physical condition and all ,she's basically disabled she can only walk to the door and to the bathroom and then she lays down for like another 30 minutes.
she lives in a studio apartment those aren't very big the only closed door is the bathroom in the front door.
So I have to assist with various tasks whether the normal ones when I get there dishes cooking her food you know a lot of things that is difficult when you're older she's 68.
I work 6 days a week ranging from 8 hours to five and a half hours. But she's my only client. I love doing this for her and I want to make it work. I just don't know what to do.