Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Every time I took my mother to the hospital, it was a minimum of a 4 hour ordeal for nothing. Nothing was ever found that was new or could be treated, mom was seriously confused as to why she was there and kept insisting there was nothing wrong with her and she wanted to leave.....over and over again to the point I wanted to scream. There WAS no point in being there, truth be told. At ninety-something, everything hurts. And there's no real fix for it either, except a Xanax or a pain pill which the doctor isn't going to give you.
Hospice changes all that by taking away the useless and excruciating trips to the ER and bringing calming meds and or pain meds as needed. And wheelchairs and cushions and supplies up the wazzoo all free of charge, with nurses and CNAs to bathe the patient and rub lotion on their dry skin.
What's to feel guilty about? Creating more comfort and care for your DH? Because that's what hospice "means". Comfort care and no more needles and machines and doctors poking and prodding and saying I don't know. Being left in comfort to let nature take its course instead.
Let yourself off the hook for making the only decision that's in DHs best interest.
Your last post was he was iinan Assisted Living. Is he still there? Why do you feel its not the right thing?
Hospice means he is getting more care. He will be kept comfortable. He does not have to know he is on hospice, he probably would not understand what that means anyway with his dementia. Its just more aides to take care of him. Hospice should be supplying depends, wipes, chuxs which is one thing you don't have to purchase.
Please, don't feel guilty. You need to do whats best for you too.
It doesn't really matter that your husband doesn't understand as you do, and you are doing what you and I'm guessing his doctors thought best, so put aside the guilt and just appreciate the extra help and extra sets of eyes on your husband you're now getting. And I can only guess that it's grief instead of guilt that you're actually feeling at this point in your husbands journey as often folks get the 2 confused. I don't honestly think that my late husband understood that he was under hospice care in our home the last 22 months of his life either, and it didn't matter to me because I knew it was best for all involved. I wish you well as you travel this difficult road with your husband, and kick that guilt to the curb.
Your husband would not have qualified for hospices services if it wasn’t appropriate. That means it was a good choice for him. If it becomes not a good choice, the hospice agency will discharge him from their services. Please focus on caring for your husband instead of useless guilt. You did nothing to cause his health issues, in contrast, you did the best things you could to help him. No worries about further explaining hospice, it really doesn’t matter. Stick with helping him as you can and holding his hand, that’s what matters. I wish you both peace
He doesn’t need to understand everything. YOU do, and that’s what’s important. You’re doing your best for him, and good for you! He’s lucky to have you as his advocate.
Based on my experience, the less they know what it means the more they really should be on hospice.
My sister the surgeon told me dad was on his way out a year or maybe 28 months before he went. He had dementia, but he wasn’t in pain, and he had control of his adls until one day he was found in a delirious heap. He had started the dying process. Same with fil when he died three years later.
You did the right thing and don't need to feel guilty. I suspect that your husband's doctors suggested or recommended hospice as the best placement at this time. Hospice is a very compassionate environment, maybe it would help to discuss your feelings with the caregivers. Does your husband have dementia? In any case, I am not sure it is important he understands. The caregivers may answer the questions he has, they should be trained on how to best address his concerns. Whether he is at home or in a facility, he is getting the best care for his situation. I wonder if your feelings of guilt are related to not being able to prevent the need for hospice, which is something out of your control. I felt guilty when my husband was sent to a psychiatric hospital after becoming aggressive in a ER; we caregivers tend to feel responsible for everything that concerns our LOs, even if there is nothing we can possibly do. Try to make the time with your husband as serene and loving as possible, and seek or accept any help you can get. I am sorry you are going through such a hard and sad time. Others from this forum will have more advice, you are with friends here. A big hug to you.
Hospice offers many benefits long before the very end. It opens the door for some Medicare benefits, and you can get a couple of home visits per week from a nurse. My husband has Alzheimer’s and someone on his respite team suggested he be evaluated for hospice, even though he is 5-7 years from the end. And if your husband is near the end, hospice can be an invaluable tool in helping you both navigate this phase of life. Take care, and don’t feel guilty for doing the best that you can.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I truly, deeply believe this.
Hospice changes all that by taking away the useless and excruciating trips to the ER and bringing calming meds and or pain meds as needed. And wheelchairs and cushions and supplies up the wazzoo all free of charge, with nurses and CNAs to bathe the patient and rub lotion on their dry skin.
What's to feel guilty about? Creating more comfort and care for your DH? Because that's what hospice "means". Comfort care and no more needles and machines and doctors poking and prodding and saying I don't know. Being left in comfort to let nature take its course instead.
Let yourself off the hook for making the only decision that's in DHs best interest.
Your last post was he was iinan Assisted Living. Is he still there? Why do you feel its not the right thing?
Hospice means he is getting more care. He will be kept comfortable. He does not have to know he is on hospice, he probably would not understand what that means anyway with his dementia. Its just more aides to take care of him. Hospice should be supplying depends, wipes, chuxs which is one thing you don't have to purchase.
Please, don't feel guilty. You need to do whats best for you too.
And I can only guess that it's grief instead of guilt that you're actually feeling at this point in your husbands journey as often folks get the 2 confused.
I don't honestly think that my late husband understood that he was under hospice care in our home the last 22 months of his life either, and it didn't matter to me because I knew it was best for all involved.
I wish you well as you travel this difficult road with your husband, and kick that guilt to the curb.
My sister the surgeon told me dad was on his way out a year or maybe 28 months before he went. He had dementia, but he wasn’t in pain, and he had control of his adls until one day he was found in a delirious heap. He had started the dying process. Same with fil when he died three years later.
Try to make the time with your husband as serene and loving as possible, and seek or accept any help you can get. I am sorry you are going through such a hard and sad time. Others from this forum will have more advice, you are with friends here. A big hug to you.
From your post, sounds kind he knows in part that something is not right..