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Many of us, myself included, come from a dysfunctional family which adds a lot of weight to the challenges of caregiving. I have read stores on various threads on other topics and decided it would be good to have a thread just for this topic for people to share, vent and discuss.

The idea for this thread originated on the thread named "The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?"

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send, there may be a new drug recommended for FM. I am leery of them.

Had a mini crash the afternoon after a too strenuous walk the other day. Took a few extra pills, went to bed and slept, slept extra the next morning and am OK now - I think. I'll try another walk in a few days.
I used to walk and walk and walk...I miss that.

sheepherder -I'm sorry for your troubles. I understand. My sister was of no help and caused trouble when I was doing what I could for mother. But then, that was nothing new. She did it all our lives. Mother has gone, and I have cut contavt.
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Almost Rotten, just when you think it can't get worse or you can't take anymore. It gets worse and I have to take it. It's not my Mom but her toxic toxic son 😔
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Golden,
I was scrolling, asked Ai and FB offers up reels.

My memory has retained nothing, and my new fibro specialist did not want to see what I downloaded.

Suffering now from information dump. Not yet conversant on the topic.

I usually follow your advice and healthy lifestyle.
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falling2uplol - sorry I missed you. I cn identify. I am child of a borderline. ((((hugs))))

bundle -thx for the wisdom and laughs. You are so right. We have to build our lives despite what we have lost. No one will or can do it for you.

send - new treatments for FM??? -

Yesterdayanurse- welcome. Ding-a-lings could be dysfunctional, as could volatility and drama seeking. Certainly sounds draining,.Can you detach a bit for your own sake?

May 20 was my mother's birthday. Brought back some memories - not good ones. I am so glad that is over. It's more than 7 years since she passed so I can get rid of some documents and will. Had news from my nephew that my sister has had a hip replacement and is doing well. That's great. I still don't want any contact. My life is betetr without it. Have a good one, everyone. 😊
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I don’t know about dysfunctional so much but having a blended family is challenging. I have 3 children, my husband has 2. We have no children together. I have a pretty good relationship with his two girls but I have to work at it. Both are ding-a-lings. The oldest is one of the most volatile personalities I’ve ever known. The youngest is an attention seeker, needy and a bit of a drama queen. I have to maintain a decent relationship as I do not wish to be at odds with either of them. I simply don’t need that stress in my life right now.
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hi! i’m re-posting this wise quote. i need to hear it, too.
🥰

“No one is coming to apologize for the years you lost.

You either build from here. Or spend the rest of your life bleeding over old wounds.”
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haha 🙂🌈
i just saw this funny quote, and it kind of fits with “words of wisdom”:

”I have decided I no longer want to improve myself.
I am a beautiful disaster.
And I accept myself as such.
So bless this mess.”
🙂🌈
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Fibromyalgia has new treatments and new understanding for symptoms, I am just finding out.
I am shocked how many symptoms can be explained.
There is no cure.

I realize there is so much more to learn....
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🥰 wise words for today:

“No one is coming to apologize for the years you lost.

You either build from here. Or spend the rest of your life bleeding over old wounds.”
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i posted this before, but i’m posting it again.
🙂

today’s words of wisdom:
🥰

“I'm not sure what's tighter: my jeans from high school or my grip on the past.”
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🥰 today's words of wisdom:

“This is how you love yourself. Instead of begging for the pain to go away, you choose to hear what your pain is begging of you.”
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🥰 words of wisdom for the start of the year…

“The scars you can’t see are worse than those you can. Heal them, and you’ll heal yourself.”

🌟🌟🌟🍀🍀🍀🌟🌟🌟
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Boy-today has been pretty frustrating. As a reluctant caregiver, I wish I had just bit the bullet and gotten my LO into AL fast. Too bad I don't have the funds to do it quickly. This past week has DRAINED me and I wish I could just remove this type of situation away from both me and my husband. We're seeing out peace torn apart and the reward is a person who is just fading from who they are and sadly, it's not something they can change anymore. I'm just so so so so tired.
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breezy - for sure, It's a roller coaster ride.

Lylii1 - you sure have a lot to deal with., Your autistic kids may not be able to help. Glad your husband can help, but sorry his health is not good. I don't know if it is dysfunctional or not but it sure is hard. Can you get any outside help for your mom? Does she have any money to hire them? It would help if you could fill out your prifile and give more details about your situation - is your mom living with you? what health conditions does she have, how much support does she need? do your kids live at home? and so on. Wishing you well. I know this is really tough.
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Some days are better than others. Many days can seem overwhelming & other days give hope..
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Some days are better than others. Many days can seem overwhelming & other days give hope..
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🥰 today's words of wisdom...

"Life's as kind as
the people you fill it with."
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send - of course you still care. Sometimes we have to detach ourselves from the things that get us upset - emotional distance helps. Protecting yourself in whatever way is necessary is always good.
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Planning my exit from caregiving does not mean that I don't still care.

Needing to protect myself financially.

It's kinda personal and embarrassing for me to even speak up.
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today’s words of wisdom:
🌟❄️🌟❄️🌟

”If you don’t make time for your wellness, you will be forced to make time for your illness. Read that again.”
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🥰 more words of wisdom for today…

There are two major reasons why you should avoid toxic/dysfunctional people: health and happiness.
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more words of wisdom for today:

🥰
"If you don't make the time
to work on creating the life you want,
you're eventually going to be forced
to spend a lot of time dealing with a life you don't want."
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Very encouraging words of wisdom, thank you very much
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today’s words of wisdom:
🌟❄️🌟❄️🌟

🥰
“People who come from dysfunctional families aren’t destined for a dysfunctional life.”
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dysfunctional quote…
😉🙂

“I don’t always manipulate, lie and gaslight.
But when I do, it’s your fault.”
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Thank you all for kind words and supportive messages.

I absolutely love and enjoy caring for MIL. I get down sometimes when I hear people tell me to just to put her in a home. I suppose if it comes to that I will consider it, but right now I can't bear the thought of it.

I do not have any prior experience as a CNA or Caregiver so I appreciate all the helpful suggestions.
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(((((Louise))) It's hard watching a loved one decline. We see reports of relatives surfacing once money/assets may become available.
I'm glad your husband is the beneficiary. Don't put up with anyone's bullying. Bless you for caring for MIL so well. Yes, it is sad.
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My dear MIL is slowly declining. My husband and I care for her daily.

I am deeply saddened by relatives who are now coming out of woodwork telling us we need to sell the property (my husband is listed on the title as the befeciary upon her death). And they want their "share".

We haven't even seen him in years.
He doesn't call to see how she is doing on a quarterly or even bi-annual basis.

My husband and I uprooted our lives to care for her, put a new home on the property, which we help pay for. We cleaned up the property and have been providing 24 hr live in care for her. She is now suffering with end stage dementia.

Its just sad.
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🥰 words of wisdom…

“Today, whatever is good for your soul, do that.”
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hello everyone! i’ve posted this before, but i like it:

🥰 here are some cute, wise words for today...

"I didn't realize who I was
until I stopped being who I wasn't."
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